Apr 2009

Awaking to sunshine, only to have our hopes of decent weather crushed by the inevitable rain that followed shortly afterwards and our spirits crushed by the prison warden of convict camp trying to charge us AU$5 to use an iron (which Mandy told them in no uncertain terms that she'd rather wear creased clothes!), we decided to head to the Captain Cook landing site in Botany Bay. And sure enough, within a few minutes drive we had reached the Captain Cook landing site.

Most of Botany Bay is quite industrial, as it is a working port, and any potential excitement at reaching the place where the first Britain set foot on Australia were quickly dispelled with the grim surrounds. Even the landing site itself resembled a building site, with a new visitors centre currently being built. We were left with the feeling that, had Botany Bay looked like this when Captain Cook landed, he would have turned straight back around and gone home!

We then decided to head to Bondi Beach, to look for Dan. Looking at the map, we decided to head first for one of the bits of headland just north of Bondi Beach, hoping we would get a proper glimpse of Sydney. So we put the destination into the sat-nav and set off.

The sat-nav we hired when we picked up the van has been about as much use as a chocolate teapot. It gets you roughly to your destination, but invariably gets lost along the way. Today was no exception. Ignoring the much simpler route following the coast, it decided to throw us right into the centre of the city. We knew we had problems when we could see the Sydney Harbour Bridge through the window! The sat-nav then started to panic, couldn’t work out how to rectify it’s mistake, and gave us a suggested route on the on-screen map that looked similar to something you’d get if you gave a blue crayon to a two year old and asked them to draw something squiggly!

Giving up on it, we drove around aimlessly for a few minutes, cutting in front of people with the van, going around in circles, until we quite miraculously found ourselves heading the right way! We reached a small park on Shark Bay, pulled the van up, and went for a walk.

The park itself was quite nice, with it’s own little beaches.

However, we wanted an “authentic Sydney view” so, a climb up some steep stone stairs later followed by a descent through a bushland walkway, we finally got what we were after; a view of the Sydney Opera House.

This signalled a landmark occasion for us; although not quite halfway through our trip, we’d always thought of seeing the Opera House at the halfway stage. So it now feels like we’re heading on the homeward leg of our trip. A very long, (longer than we’ve currently done), homeward leg, but one nonetheless.

We then headed into Bondi Beach. Mandy went to Dan’s flat (he wasn’t in!) so we loitered around Bondi Beach for a hour or so, driving up and down and carefully watching every bus that pulled up. Unfortunately, he didn’t magically appear, so we took a couple of pictures of Bondi Beach

and headed back to the convict camp we were staying in. And quite unbelievably, when we pulled up, we realised that we’d done over 100km driving for a distance that should only have been around 50km. Sat-Navs have a lot to answer for!!

Total Distance Driven In Australia : 5,855km

In keeping with the army-base feel of the campsite, we were interrupted during breakfast this morning by a man with a clipboard asking us if we were moving on at 10am. Most campsites we have stayed on in Australia have 10am checkouts, but this is quite informal and they don’t really mind if you overstay slightly. So this was the first time we’d ever been approached by a member of staff and felt pressured to leave. So we did! (and parked right outside the campsite and used their internet connection for the next 30 minutes!)

We drove the 300km from Canberra to Sydney, aiming for Botany Bay. The drive itself was quite mundane; the scenery only started to get interesting as we got close to Sydney (but not interesting enough to take a photo of!)

Turning off the highway, we passed through a town/suburb of Sydney called Liverpool. This really was disconcerting; it actually looked like the Liverpool in the UK that you pass through when leaving the M62 and heading into the city centre. Suffice to say, we locked all the doors on the van and kept a close eye on our hub-caps at traffic lights!

The first thing we noticed on our drive through the suburbs of Sydney was the high propensity of McWifi’s and KFC’s. There seemed to be one of each almost every 3 km! With the KFC’s especially, it started sending subliminal messages to our minds – “Eat me! Eat me!”. But we resisted; for the moment!

We arrived in Botany Bay, the site of Captain Cooks landing point, and our base for the next two days. We decided to aim for here because;

a. We’ve heard of the place

and

b. Mandy’s friend from work Dan is currently living in Bondi Beach just up the road

Ever since we decided to stay around here, we’ve been racking our brains to try and remember the old song associated with it (something about convicts being transported here). I’m sure growing up it was one of the many countless folk songs that my Dad subjected my brother and I to; every song seemed to be about a boat of fishermen and “windy old weather” and even now we have to fight almost uncontrollable urges to don Arran jumpers, slippers and a pipe! We still haven’t remembered it though – every time we try to think about it all we can think of is the tune from “Scarborough Fayre” which then segues into “Elizabeth My Dear” by the Stone Roses. I’d look on YouTube for it; if only I could guarantee the night terrors wouldn’t come back! Anyway, enough of this rambling and back to the journey; FOLK MUSIC – DON’T DO IT!

So, what was our campsite in Botany Bay like? Quite fittingly, a place for convicts! It is absolutely overpriced (the most expensive one yet), no facilities to speak of whatsoever, and has the most horrid concrete base pitches in the world. My friend Steve in the UK would have to take a tranquiliser if he saw the state of the electric hook-up set-up and as for the toilets; if you ever wondered where the old high-cistern toilets with pull chain flushes went to in the UK, you’ll find them all here!

And then it started to rain! Heavily! For several hours! There’s something not quite right about standing in a puddle, soaked to the bones, and reading yet another sign about droughts and water restrictions!

After making a coffee in the campervan, sitting in the quiet despondent horror that only watching a campervan floor full of mud and water can bring, we went for a quick drive, and actually saw Botany Bay for the first time.

We could also see the Sydney skyline covered in a shroud of rain to our left (believe me – it is there!).

Terminal CBAness now setting in, we drove to one of the myriad of KFC’s we’d passed; at least we didn’t have to try and wash any dishes!

We went back to the site, did some clothes washing in the horrendously expensive and completely ineffectual laundry room, and planned our escape in a couple of days time (we think we might head to the Blue Mountains and give Sydney chance to remember it’s sunny reputation before returning in a few days time). Finally the rain stopped so we phoned Dan from the campsite payphone, pumping in enough coins to settle the debt of a third world country, and then went for a walk. The view of Sydney lit up at night in the distance lifted our spirits immensely and so, philosophical about this being one bad day in a sea of good ones, we went to bed feeling a bit more positive about tomorrow.

Total Distance Driven In Australia : 5,743km

We woke up this morning, had breakfast, and then got all over-excited listening to the new Prodigy album we’d acquired yesterday. Imagine a mini-rave inside a space 9ft by 5ft and you’ll get the picture!

After far too much energy expended, we set off into Canberra city centre.

Our first impression of Canberra was that it was just a dull administrative town. However, this opinion changed over the course of the day, as you will soon discover!

Driving to Capital Hill, we veered off and headed instead first to Red Hill Lookout.

This afforded quite good views, although did little to dismiss our thoughts that “there weren’t a great deal going on!”.

As we’d passed by the Parliament building on Capital Hill, we went one stage further now and went into it. After all, why not see where everything was happening?

After being initially sceptical about the building (it didn’t impose itself as being the seat of the government), the interior won us completely over. It’s quite a new building, having only been completed in 1988, and so everything had a “new” feel to it, including the marble staircase in the foyer.

We walked along a corridor, past a display which gave all sorts of information about the founding of Canberra in the early 20th Century,

and information on such things as the legislative process,

and then went into the Senate building. And before we knew it we were in the actual Senate chamber!

This is the equivalent to the House of Lords in the UK, and was the first time we’d ever been in a parliamentary house.

We left this room and walked back to the foyer, looking for the House of Representatives entrance. We realised that it was back the way we’d already walked! So, we walked along a corridor, past a display which gave all sorts of information about the founding of Canberra in the early 20th Century,

and information on such things as the legislative process,

and then went into the House of Representatives building. And before we knew it we were in the actual House of Representatives chamber.

This is the equivalent to the House Of Commons in the UK, and was the second time we’d ever been in a parliamentary house.

We left this room and walked back to the foyer, looking for the entrance to the roof of the building. We realised that it was back the way we’d already walked! So, we walked along a corridor, past a display which gave all sorts of information about the founding of Canberra in the early 20th Century,

and information on such things as the legislative process,

and then found the lift to the roof. And before we knew it we were on the roof.

This is the equivalent to a roof of a building in the UK, and was the first time we’d ever been on a roof of a parliamentary building.

Fully satisfied that we had no desire to walk again along a corridor, past a display which gave all sorts of information about the founding of Canberra in the early 20th Century,

and information on such things as the legislative process,

we headed out of the Parliament building and went back to the campervan.

Next on our “hit list”, and in keeping with the “army” theme of our campsite, we went to the Australian War Memorial.

The name of this is slightly misleading, as it is not just a Memorial but also a quite comprehensive building housing a war museum and lots of interactive displays.

We headed to the Discovery Zone first, which is primarily designed for, and wasted on, kids. It was great fun!

We got to dress up in army fatigues, go in a helicopter cockpit with Vietnam footage playing in front as we pretended to shoot down enemy helicopters.

We then went to the First World War section, where I donned a tin hat and jacket and played in the trenches.

There were periscopes you could look up, which were showing First World War footage; a child who briefly shared my trench said I’d been shot dead by a sniper but he was lying! It was merely a flesh wound! Laughing, I sent him over the top to his fate! Such is life in the trenches!

We then headed to the highlight of the day in the ANZAC hall. With the backdrop of real vintage war planes, we were treated to a light, sound and video show created by Peter Jackson (he of Lord of the Rings and King Kong fame). On a large, 120 degree, screen we watched a film about a First World War Bi-plane dogfight. It was a proper, large budget digital creation, and was the most convincing and excellently created representation of a dogfight we’d ever seen. It must have cost a fortune, and definitely should be made into a full length feature film; it would win every award going!

When we had recovered our breath from the film spectacle we had witnessed, we went to the Hall of Memory, which was where the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier was held.

We then walked back along a memorial wall full of red poppies, walking past names currently being added to for the Iraqi War.

And, save for a quick drive by video shooting of ANZAC Parade, and the many statues there, we headed back to the campsite to chase Kangaroos around the site and finally getting video footage of some hopping (hopping away from me scaring them I must add because it was the only way to make them bloody move!).

A brilliant day, and didn’t cost us a single penny! And how did our opinion of Canberra change?

I started today’s blog by saying that Canberra was “just a dull administrative town”.

We now think that Canberra is a dull administrative town that looks nice, has a good parliament, and a cracking war museum! Go there. Go there now!!!

Total Distance Driven In Australia : 5,461km

By the time we had woken this morning, the rain had pretty much run it’s course and the sunshine provided some respite from the bitter cold. We decided to press on north, hoping that eventually the weather would get warmer, but not before we’d taken several more pictures of the view from the campervan.

Even as we drove away, heading back to Cooma, we couldn’t resist taking even more pictures (there are hundreds of them!)

After passing through Cooma, we started the drive to Canberra, the capital of Australia. We finally started to drive through the scenery we’d expected from the Snowy Mountains, with mountain views and hilly terrain at every turn.

After a relatively quick and simple drive we arrived at our campsite in Canberra. Now, how do I describe this nicely? In the eighties, I went with school for a day in the army at Catterick army base. The overriding memories I have of this, other than the squaddies using us all to finely hone their bullying techniques on and doing an assault course in the driving snow, was the antiquated fifties style of the whole base. I can remember thinking “how depressing it must be to be based here”. Well, twenty one years later, my past has finally caught up with me and I’ve been transported lock,stock and barrel to a 1950’s army camp!

We were told to choose our pitch when checking in, and given a little plastic tag to fasten to our water tap. Well, half an hour later we had found a pitch but trying to find any tap, nevermind ours, was like a “Where’s Wally” puzzle. Giving up, we parked temporarily on a long term rental site, filled our water tank (using their tap) with enough water to last a couple of days, and stuck the plastic tag on the electrics!

We’re staying here for two nights. It is completely utilitarian, but has the benefit of the first “true” free internet we’ve come across. I don’t know if Australia has an equivalent of the Advertising Standards Authority in the UK, but if it does it seriously needs to get a grip. Most of the sites we have been on that advertise “free internet” in reality mean that you’ve got a pitiful amount of free internet before you’re locked out – about enough to check your emails on. Well this one is free, not time bound or megabytes bound, and we’ve totally abused it, downloading some new music for our ipods, some stuff to watch from the TV, and uploaded over 1gb of photos! Well worth a stay in a army-esque site!

And it has kangaroos! Scores of them!

They all come out at night around the site, eating the grass around the vans and tents. It’s impossible not to see them, there are that many, and they are absolutely huge and extremely fast.

Now my brother has accused us of having a kangaroo fixation! Its not that; its just that for most people coming from the UK it’s the one animal you want to see when you’re here. Therefore, everytime we see one, we feel the need to take photos of it and document it on this blog. So Iain, just for you, another picture of a kangaroo!

Total Distance Driven In Australia : 5,445km

We made the decision to continue north via the Snowy Mountains. There were two reasons for this;

1. We’d been travelling along the coast for the past two weeks and wanted a change of scenery
2. We’d found a campsite that offered free internet (which is like gold dust here in Australia!)

On leaving the campsite, we did a major shopping expedition to stock up on food for the next week and also to buy some clothes that would actually fit us! We’ve lost so much weight, that our jeans will not stay up, even with belts! An hour and a half later, we were finally ready to start our journey. Within 5km of Lakes Entrance, we also got our first view of an ostrich, which darted out of trees into the path of a car on the other side of the road. The car managed to stop in time, but left most of its tyres on the road!

The scenery on leaving Lakes Entrance was mainly fields to begin with, but unlike places such as South Australia they were quite picturesque, with the mountains forming a perfect backdrop.

This quickly changed to driving through forestry. Most of South East Australia is covered in rainforest, and quite impressive it is too!

We reached a place called Cann River, filled up with petrol, and then for the first time in Australia started to head north. Within minutes we’d reached the border between Victoria and New South Wales.

Thinking it churlish not to continue, we did!

The drive through the Snowy Mountains today wasn’t as spectacular as we’d expected. Most of the drive up the hills was done under cover of the rainforest, so we didn’t really get a sense of increasing in height. When we did break the cover of the trees, we were driving along a plateau with the spectacular scenery always tantalisingly in the distance.

The wind was also horrendous, threatening all way through the drive to flip the van, meaning that our concentration had to be on the road and not the scenery.

We reached the town of Cooma, and veered left towards our destination for the night, Jindabyne. This is a small resort town on a lake and is primarily geared up for the skiers in winter. We had no preconceptions of the place, (other than it’s free wifi-ness), and so were amazed at just how beautiful it was. We were listening to Lonely Soul, sung by Richard Ashcroft from The Verve (it’s the song on the end credits of the film The Beach if anyone’s bothered), and turned a corner to be presented by this view.

The music and the view just went perfectly together, and gave us a truly jaw-dropping experience.

We pulled up into one of the best campsites we have stayed in on this trip. It was right on the lake, and this was the view from the back of our campervan!

The only downside was that the weather was wet and extremely cold, probably the coldest we have been on the trip since Beijing, and there was a force 9 gale outside which was rocking the van all night! Also the water from the taps was yellow! This may have been perfectly natural, and we did drink some before realising with no side effects, but the day that we knowingly drink yellow water is also the day that we eat yellow snow!

Total Distance Driven In Australia : 5,233km

We decided today to get as close to the New South Wales border as possible. This wasn’t an easy decision, as it meant missing out on a couple of areas we had wanted to see in Victoria, being the Dandenongs and Wilsons Promontory, but we decided to save these for the next time we’re in Victoria. We still have an enormous distance to travel in Australia, and have done very little really in the past two weeks.

The weather had cleared up (and warmed up) noticeably since yesterday, and we got a quite good view of the bay as we left San Remo.

Our route east took us very close to Wilsons Promontory, one of the most popular National Park areas in Australia. We didn’t try to enter it, as we couldn’t have done it justice in the short space of time we had, but got a really good view just outside the town of Foster.

Our next stop was on the Ninety Mile Beach, at a place called (fittingly enough) Seaspray. After grabbing some lunch in the carpark

we headed onto the beach. In reality, it’s not ninety miles long, but still stretches further than you can see.

The whole beach in both directions was completely empty, and the surf was quite strong and dramatic.

The scenery started to change as we headed further east. The coast lay on our right, and to our left the landscape changed from flat fields to rolling hills, with the Great Dividing Range mountains in the background. We passed through several picturesque towns and at one point it seemed that every bridge we crossed presented a great photo opportunity.

We eventually arrived at Lakes Entrance, a small town/ resort in the Victorian Lake District. At the entrance to the town was a lookout point, which gave vast views of the surrounding lakesides.

We decided to stay here, prior to leaving Victoria tomorrow and heading into our fifth Australian state, New South Wales. We’re aiming to get to Canberra in the next couple of days (which in effect would be our sixth state). We just need to decide now which way to go – through the Snowy Mountains or up the New South Wales coast! Decisions, decisions!

Total Distance Driven In Australia : 4,850km

We set off bright and early from the Melbourne Big 4 Caravan Park, stopping off for our first McWifi breakfast for ages (it was an incentive for an early alarm!). Having driven around for over an hour looking for cheap petrol, (and failing miserably), we then contacted one of Mandy’s relatives, (her Mum’s cousin Marge) who lived nearby as we’d planned to visit them on our way past. Unfortunately, she mentioned they were going away at 1pm for ANZAC weekend, so it looked as if we wouldn’t be able to catch them.

We looked for where Pakenham, where they lived, was and realised it was only around 50km south east of Melbourne. Even though we didn’t think we’d make it in time to catch them before we went, we set off in any case to “have a nosey” at where they lived.

One very fast journey later, we had entered Pakenham (despite our sat nav getting totally confused at one stage and thinking we were driving through fields and not the motorway!). We drove past the house, noticed a car in the very long driveway, so did a quick U-turn and pulled into the drive entrance.

Mandy went scurrying off up the drive to make sure we were at the right place and returned a couple of minutes later with Marge’s daughter Donna (who she’d recognised despite not having seen her for twenty three years!). So, making sure the branches on the trees didn’t take the fibre-glass roof off the campervan, we drove up and went into our first Aussie house!

It was a great and surreal experience. The first thing we noticed on entering the house was the size of it, quickly followed by a picture of Mandy’s grandparents on the fridge! We ended up spending nearly two hours there with Marge, her husband John and their daughter Donna, talking about our trip, the recent bushfire’s which had just stopped short of Donna’s house, places in Rotherham and how much it had changed, and the bloody Jamie Oliver programme in Rotherham which had made it onto Aussie TV! It was weird being on the other side of the world, talking about people and places back home, and made the distance between Australia and the UK seem completely negligible. We all eventually managed to leave, to allow us to find a campsite and Marge and John to head off on their trip (to the “pokies” as Donna said!) and, having swapped Facebook details and being given the photo of Mandy’s grandparents (which will now be travelling the rest of the world with us) we headed off.

We headed in the direction of Phillip Island, and found a campsite at a place called San Remo which nestled at the foot of the bridge connecting the island with the mainland. We stopped for a very quick drink, and then headed over the bridge to Phillip Island itself.

Our first stop was the main town on Phillip Island, Cowes. By now, the weather had turned bad and had started raining, so all we did was a quick walk on the jetty and then back to the van! Looked very nice though.

We then headed to the other side of the island, to the Nobbies. This is a craggy rock formation on the tip of the island, with blowholes and the chance to see seals. The seals weren’t playing, and there wasn’t enough movement on the sea to make the blowholes really work, so again we headed back to the van.

We then headed towards our main reason for coming to Phillip Island, the Penguin Parade. On the way, we also had a couple of encounters with real life hopping kangaroos! By encounter, I mean that the first one came from nowhere hopping across the road as I bore down relentlessly on it at 80km per hour! How I missed it, we’ll never know. I swerved the van practically onto two wheels to avoid the impact and then managed to right the van before it rolled. A very nerve racking experience to say the least!

Within thirty seconds we saw enough one at the side of the road and managed to stop before reaching it. Before we could get the camera out, it had hopped right in front of the van and bounded over a fence, never to be seen again. We can now tick all our kangaroo requirements off our “to-do” list!

The Penguin Parade is a wildlife area on Phillip Island where every night lots of small penguins leave the sea and cross the beach to reach their nests. It was relatively expensive to get in (AU$21.50 each) but was something we really wanted to see.

I’ll get my gripes about this place over before I continue. On handing over your money and entering the waiting area for the beach, you are presented with lots of massive signs telling you that photography and video recording is strictly forbidden. Now this is only AFTER you have paid to get in, and I didn’t see a single mention of it outside the waiting area. I can understand banning flash photography as it would scare the penguins, but why camcorders! (or maybe it was to do with the cynical photo opportunities being sold in the waiting area where “you too can have your picture taken in front of a blue-screen and have penguins superimposed on the background”). The photo ban was also strictly enforced when you went down to the beach area – the rangers were more bothered about people attempting to take photos or film than they were about people scaring the penguins by making loud noises or attempting to climb over barriers! And the other thing that annoyed us was the mindless idiots we were watching the experience with. Irredeemable morons the lot of them. It really did tarnish the whole experience for me.

The penguins though, were excellent. They would ride in on the waves, bunch into a big group, before cautiously walking over the initial part of the beach. When they felt safe enough to cross the open space of the beach, they would waddle really fast towards their nests. There were waves and waves of them, and the whole experience lasted over an hour.

Finally, towards the end, I managed to get a covert picture taken of the beach (by which time the light had faded too much to see anything other than the white specks of the penguins)

and a picture of a couple of penguins that had made it to their nests

It should have been a better experience than it was, and we’re really going to try to avoid anything with the slightest hint of over-protectionism in the future, which will be easier said than done.

Total Distance Driven In Australia : 4,494km

It was our last day in Melbourne today so, after posting some more accumulated junk through to our parents, we made an effort to get into the centre early. And for the first time we made it into the centre before noon (11:45am no less!)

Dropping onto Collins Street to replenish our supply of money which had sadly depleted following the Aquarium yesterday, we caught the City Circle Tram again (and heard the tune again!) and got off at the Royal Exhibition Building/ Melbourne Museum.

The Royal Exhibition Building, built in 1880, was part of the craze in the nineteenth century for World Fairs Exhibitions, and the style was typical of this, being similar to the designs of ones we had previously seen in Chicago.

We then went for a look in Melbourne Museum, which was next door. It was AU$8 each to get in; with a quick wit and disguises to match the Scarlet Pimpernel, we impersonated students and got in for nothing!!

Melbourne Museum was fantastic. It wasn’t just the blag we’d used not to pay; the exhibits were worth much more than the admission price.

There was the Melbourne Story:

which was complete with a recreation of an old Big Dipper

There was a recreated forest environment

And there was DINOSAUR WALK!!!

Many of the exhibits were interactive, so much button pressing and twirling of knobs ensued, and there were other areas such as a preview of a Pompeii exhibit complete with some of the body casts taken from there.

It really was a worthwhile visit; if you go just remember to tell them you’ve left your student card at home!

From there, we caught the tram to the Shrine Of Remembrance. This commemorates all the ANZAC soldiers killed in previous wars.

On Saturday, ANZAC Day, a mass remembrance service is held here with upwards of 35,000 people in attendance. Today though, there were only us, a few other tourists, and the entire Aussie Rules Football Essoden team (which of course meant nothing to us!)

The views of the city from the shrine were superb; so much so that we decided not to go up one of the tall city observatories.

We walked back from the shrine, crossing the Yarra river one last time.

And that was Melbourne. We’ve loved the place and are sad to be leaving. But we’ll be back again!

Tomorrow we head off towards Sydney. For the first time on the trip, we really haven’t got a clue what route we’re taking, what we’ll see, and how long it will take us to get there. We could be in Sydney in two days. It could take two weeks! Should be fun finding out!

Having cruelly denied a Little ‘un access to every aquarium along the journey, I finally relented today and off we trotted to Melbourne Aquarium.

It’s dubbed “the biggest Southern Ocean aquarium in the world”; it was certainly the most expensive, coming in at a whopping AU$31.50 each. So with a much lighter wallet, we went to see some fish.

The first thing we saw was not fish. It was penguins. And yellow snow!

They waddled. They dived into the water. They swam. In fact they did everything a penguin should do.

We then got to the fish section.

We saw ugly ones.

We saw silly ones.

We saw pretty ones

I had a starfish on my fingers

And we found Nemo! (I don’t know why they made a movie about finding him. It was easy. He was in a tank!)

We then went to the Jelly section. I was most disappointed when I realised it meant Jellyfish!

We then went to the Shark section. We saw some sharks.

And some stingrays.

And then it was over! In summary, it was good, but not worth the money and we’ve seen a lot better in Chicago!

We then caught the free City Circle tram, which is an “old style” tram which runs in a circular route around the centre of Melbourne.

We got off at the Victoria Parliament stop, unfortunately not before our ears had been subjected to the City Circle Tram song being played through the speakers. Imagine a Chas n’ Dave song listing every stop along the way, with a rousing chorus of “All aboard for the City Circle Tram!”, and you still wont appreciate the sheer horror of the occasion!

We took a couple of photos of the parliament,

and then headed through Treasury Gardens

finally reaching Fitzroy Gardens.

This is the home of Cooks Cottage, the oldest building in Victoria, and the home of Captain Cooks parents.

This would be good were it not for a few inescapable facts.

Firstly, there’s no evidence that Captain Cook ever set foot inside the place.
Secondly, it was in Yorkshire until the 1930’s, being shipped over brick by brick and being rebuilt, so claims that it is the oldest building in Victoria are slightly disingenuous.
Thirdly, I wasn’t aware that CCTV cameras and uPvc drainage were all the rage in the 18th Century!!

Still, the hoards of Japanese tourists seemed to love it!

We then headed up to the Tudor Model Village, which was simply hilarious! In the Second World War, the state of Victoria sent essential food packages to the people of Lambeth to keep them alive throughout the Blitz. Lambeth repaid this act after the war by presenting the state of Victoria with this!

It was the most laughable model village I’ve ever seen. The houses looked like a Fisher Price “My First Model Village” and a class of five year olds could have probably done a better job with clay and poster paints!

We then went to the Fairies Tree, which was (errr) a tree stump with someone painting fairies on it!

Nice fairies, by the way, but still!

That was about all the excitement we could take for one day! So off we went, with the chorus to “City Circle Tram” buzzing around our heads like a malevolent wasp!

Phileas Fogg managed to go around the world in 80 days.

More recently, so did Willie Fogg.

So where had we reached after 80 days travel?

Only bloody Ramsey Street!

We drove 30km to visit South Vermont, aka Erinsborough, to see THE ACTUAL Ramsey Street from Neighbours (real name Pinoak Court). Now neither of us has actually watched the programme in nearly twenty years, but we grew up on it and when in Rome!!

We recognised some of the houses; didn’t Mrs Mangle used to live here?

And didn’t the character played by Terry Donovan live here?

No idea who lives where now (or indeed who is actually in the show!), but some pictures for anyone who does know (or indeed gives a Flaming Galah!)

We were slightly disappointed at the lack of commemorative plaques on the street. We were sure that it would at least have a shrine to Bouncer’s memory or a “Neighbours Treasure Hunt” to locate Jason Donovan’s career. But alas, no. The only hint you were actually on Ramsey Street was the bored looking security guard employed to stop you stealing the flower beds and using the pools!

The really strange thing was, when we were there, nothing looked like it does on the TV. And then, when we looked at the photos and video we’d shot, it looked EXACTLY like it does on the TV!

After the all the excitement, (plus the horror at actually driving through Doncaster on the way!), all that was left to do was go for a leisurely McWiFi and Fries!

Willie and Phileas may have got further than us by this stage, but I bet they didn’t have as much fun on their 80th day!

Total Distance Driven In Australia : 4,284km